Ever had one of those Marilyn Monroe moments where a gust of wind catches you off guard and before you can grab on for dear life your skirt is round your waist showing your pants to the world? Well, have I got some tales for you!
It was a warm day, a rarity in Scotland, so off I trot to work in a lovely floaty skirt and some nude tights. Just because its sunny doesn’t mean tights are omitted, I mean who voluntarily wants chub rub? (chub rub for those who don’t know is that lovely rubbing at the top of your thighs that makes you walk like you’ve pooped your pants!)
I near the office when someone I recognise from another department taps me on the shoulder and politely says:
You need to pull your skirt down at the back
Mortified, I grab my skirt only to realise it is completely tucked in to my back pack. Not only have I been showing the street my backside but it had actually been tucked up there since I had gotten off the train so a whole heap of commuters and everyone else in the train station had also seen my ass. Great day to wear a thong!
A few days later I am walking to the train station after work, the busiest time possible to navigate the streets of the city when another woman, again that I recognise from work (but not the same woman), taps me not the shoulder and, you guessed it, says:
Your dress is tucked in to your back pack
Once again there I am baring my backside to all and sundry! I have to work with these people and the worst bit is it has clearly been tucked in to my back pack since I left my desk! That means any number of colleagues that I work closely with got an unwarranted view of my once again thong toting ass through my nude tights.
I mean how unlucky can you be? Well I will tell you….
I obviously spent the next few weeks entirely paranoid checking my attire to ensure nothing was tucked anywhere it shouldn’t have been. This seemed to avert any further incidents until, yip you guessed it, one day I got blasé about the whole thing. I get half way to the office in the morning and I feel a breeze, I immediately panic, grab my skirt and realise that once again it is tucked up in my back pack.
So there you have it, not only have I shown the entire city and half my work colleagues my practically bare backside on one occasion, I have actually done this THREE times! Needless to say I now rarely wear any floaty items and when I do I triple check nothing is tucked where it shouldn’t be and only wear long coats that fully cover my butt! Its been a painful and mortifying lesson to have learnt.